Spam, Spam, Spam

There was a time that I could recall how I got a message. That one came by mail. This by fax. And this, by telephone. I can’t do it anymore. I remember I got briefed, but I will be damned, now, if I know how all that knowledge got to me. This is alarming. I am swallowing info like a Foie Gras Goose. Bilious with dire, spammish info about about the global threat of drinking straws I duck from the imminent Apocalypse.

Here is a quick sample from my ‘Junk’ folder:  I am advised that “Mark Cuban Done with Shark Tank After These Doctors Come On’. The body of this piece’s alluring advertising tells me ,“turpentine, and one ounce of Canada balsam. The print is first to be sized with a solution of isinglass water, and dried; the varnish is then to be applied with a camel-hair brush”. I feel in no way educated by this, but I’ll admit it took several seconds of buggering around with the mouse to make it go away. But make it go away I did.

Ernest‘ implored that I could “Stop Break Ins with this System”. The system is not mentioned but I am instructed to ‘put the onions in a tureen‘.  Like, really? My heart froze.

So then, we must ask who is sending this, and more importantly who is answering?

Honestly, who would answer the email or click on links?  Who?  I am dying to know because if someone came to my door, spouted about onions and tureens and then asked for my credit card number I would call the damn Cops. This online situation is all too similar.

Although I laugh this off, I am a lifelong friend to a man with Alzheimer’s Disease. What if he didn’t have a super-powered family to back him up and protect him?  What if he was an 80 something, still living on his own?  What if anyone who knocked on his door could empty his wallet?  What if he was your Dad?

What if he was your Dad?

I believe the Pythons might agree with me that there is a major problem flying just under the radar. What if Terry Jones was totally alone, squarely in the Spam cross-hairs, with no one to help him preserve his legacy and fortune?

Daughters & Sons, Children & Friends, let’s serve & protect the best we can. We are the Spam Police.




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