…A Stick and a Ball

Scientific Nanoosian – (RNG) – New research suggests that time travel exists, and time travelers may be mischievous pranksters, or worse.

In 1859 Charles Darwin published his ground-breaking work, “On the Origin of Species”, and from there time seems to have split into two streams. One of those streams mysteriously convulses every few decades and flings bits of 1859 into the present.

Researchers believe that year was targeted as a starting point and the goal of time travelers was to instill extreme doubt in the populace downstream of their first visit. Evidence suggests that it worked – for example, some people really have a cow when protesting that their grandfather wasn’t an ape, 161 years later.

Time travelers have also had jolly good fun by monkeying with public confidence in Lister’s Germ Theory of the 1860s and Pasteur’s vaccinations of the 1870s. Detractors now consider these the origin of hoaxes. So fiendishly subtle were the time travelers’ efforts that their disruptive message could today be interpreted as a kind of ‘virus’. Wow!

On a lark, those hilarious time travelers just recently tracked down a pro basketball player and convinced him that the world is flat. They whispered into the ear of this influential multi-millionaire, whose main function is to bounce a ball and run like the wind — to hold and propagate the world view of an Ancient.

350 BC was the year that Eratosthenes proved the earth was ball-shaped using a stick. A stick. Re-iterating for emphasis: He proved the earth was a sphere scientifically, 2300 years ago, with a STICK and its shadow at high noon. Astronauts and Cosmonauts have since confirmed his experiment with their own eyeballs. But basket boy has convinced many of his followers that our Earth might well be flat, all while playing with a ball. Reiterating for emphasis: …Called earth flat while playing with a BALL. Deliciously ironic symbolism, ain’t it?

It seems that we must capture these time travelers and attempt to undo their dastardly work. Silly school librarians suggest that critical thinking, encouraged by early childhood education, including a lot of reading books, would be helpful. Yeah, yeah, whatevs… Stupid Eratosthenes was a librarian, too.

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