The Newest Policy

Husband Impressed by Policy Speech but One Question Still Remains: What Kind of Ketchup?

Listening intently, a local husband opened his imagination to a new matrix of decision making, doing his absolute best to understand the calculus which would bring him to the correct decision about condiment re-supply.

At around two minutes into his wife’s lengthy and widely ranging comments on the mind-numbing intricacies of ketchup selection, he began thinking about Crullers. Also, his friend’s rototiller. A useful yard tool, by golly. He was then rebuked for not paying proper attention. He made a mental note not to think about lawn and gardening tools while she spoke, but taking the mental note made his face kinda scrinch up again…

       Upon completion of her remarks, she asked, “Ya got it, right?”

       The husband replied, “Are we having chicken wings tonight?”

       Shocked, she repeated her explanation, right down to comparison pricing, pros and cons of competing brands, natural ingredients, something about Carbon-Neutral companies, and employment of the Q-Card for points and a possible discount. She finished by reminding him to take along a shopping bag to carry it in.

       “So…I’m getting ketchup?”

       “Yes, dear. You’ve got this, right?”

        “Uhh, what kind of ketchup do you want me to get?”

        Dumbfounded, she snatched the car keys from his hand and said, “I’ll just do it myself!”

        He watched her depart, gazed about the kitchen, and sniffed a delicious aroma. Yup, it was definitely going to be chicken wings tonight.




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