Men’s Group Gently Advises Member in Hellish Sweater He Was Never Cool

Fairwinds — (RNG) — A Gentlemen’s luncheon group recently found it necessary to take the unprecedented step of “telling it like it is” to one of its members whose heinous taste in sweaters was simply too much.

As he proudly entered the restaurant wearing a terrifying jumper from Bill Cosby’s ‘won’t need this in prison’ bin, Reg Berk proclaimed himself as looking ‘sexy and hip’. Even the Treasurer, Mr Elva Swanson (CPA ret.), 92 and vision impaired, yelped in alarm.

The decision was taken to deliver the message to Mr Berk, as gently as possible, that his delusions of haute couture were bordering on the ridiculous, and his nauseating rainbow hued cable-knit was not helping. The baggy-arsed tan Chinos pressed with a sharp crease were, at best, visual Ipecac. None of this was ameliorated by his dun-coloured walking shoes.

In his own defense Mr Berk stood and attempted a stallion-like pose but lost his balance and knocked Lt. Col (ret.) Royston Blimpy’s Oolong to the floor.

Long time member Gob Josser, sporting a pale blue sweat-shirt emblazoned with the image of a giant smiling moose, proclaimed Berk’s pullover ‘beyond the pale’, and emblematic of his flagging social life.

Mr Berk, with a flinty stare, delivered the smack-down that the ‘gals’ down at the lab always flash a secret smile when he provides his monthly urine sample.

Fish Jump
A slammin’ jumper from the Denis Collins Christmas Collection

 

Vince R Ditrich © 2019 :: All Rights Reserved :: Random Note Generator :: A One-Man Magazine :: http://www.randomnotegenerator.com

 

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