Stung by Madonna’s Criticism Canadians Pledge to Sing Out of Tune and Fellate Champagne Bottles

RNG – CANADA WIDE – Canadians coast to coast woke to the shocking news that they were boring, a revelation delivered by geriatric icon, Madonna, traditionally a source of thoughtful essays, profound poetic and artistic work and an unimpeachable voice of the truth.

“Until now we had thought that our reputation was based on our style of thinking before we speak, dialogue before combat, drinking the champagne before giving the bottle a deep-throat blowjob on camera. Apparently this is considered boring…” Stated Doug McKenzie of Freezingford, Saskatchewan.

“But now, thanks to her probing observations, we realize the error in our ways”, said his friend, Big Bobby Clobber. “All the time we waste saying ‘sorry’ just in case the other guy is having a rotten day and needs a little kindness to change a bad moment into a good one! That is plain stupid. We could all be singin’ weak and flat like drunken strippers!”

Madonna Pirate
Madge, show here auditioning for Shanneyganock

Margo, who has the Cargo, pitched in. “Yeah b’ys. I finally smelled the coffee. If yer rich, yuz can be as stoopid as a rock! I’m cashin’ out and buyin’ a Gucci tool belt.”

They all broke into the Twist, dancing merrily to her song ‘La Isla Bonita’. Margo sang along but she was POSITIVE the words were ‘Vladislav Tre-ti-aaaakkkk!!”

Good day, eh.


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