Scene 1 – (Interior Shot) — Man trying to get to the hardware store for the third time this week, while his wife sips a coffee at the kitchen table.
“While you’re out, dear…”, She says with a tone that might just be sarcastic, “Pop by the store and get milk, eggs, and a loaf of bread. The nice stuff, not that foamy junk. It’s not in the bakery area. It’s way over by the Mexican food. And on the way can you drop off this cheque to Phyllis? I’ve been meaning to give those Mason jars to Fran for ages, too. You remember where she lives? Her Mom is in the hospital with chest pains. She bought the nicest curtains the other week! Watch for potholes. Their daughter Jenn is in Massachusetts on a scholarship. Do you know she got a puppy? Just leave the jars on the step if she’s not home. You know, one time I couldn’t find her house and got all turned around…Or you could take them around to the back porch. There’s a little string you pull to get in the gate…When are you going to put on a new roof, by the way?” Walleyed, he stares at the ceiling, drool pooling at his feet.
Narrator (James Earl Jones sounding like Darth Vader confessing paternity) – It was the worst-case scenario. A dogpile of nonsense had buried his humble mission. His errand had been co-opted.
Scene 2 – Fran’s Driveway – His arms are loaded with clinking glassware. He can’t find the string to the back gate and so totes everything to the deck. He slips and falls, the jars leaping heavenward. Smashed glass is everywhere. He cannot find a broom and must go back home to get his.
Narrator (James Earl Jones, crunching chips while speaking) – Like an exhausted prospector he stumbles through the grocery store, vainly searching for the lost gold mine he knows is hidden in plain sight. An employee takes pity upon this lonely man with the vacant look.
Scene 3 – “Can I help you find something, sir?” Oh, thank heavens, he thinks. I am saved. I am saved. “Yes, yes. I uhh, I am, uhh…I need to pick up, uhhhh…” He draws a blank. He has forgotten what it is he’s here to get. The apron clad employee looks at him with compassion. She had seen so many men fail in their quest. It’s heartbreaking.
Ending Montage – Music: “Bridge Over Troubled Water”
He is near despair. He reminds himself that at least he got the cheque to Phyllis and swept up the broken glass. But, his trip to the hardware store? He hadn’t even though of it until he got home.
Fade to Black — Cue outro theme music.
Join us next time for another exciting installment of
“The Nanoosians”!!
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