Scene 1 — Establishing shot – A small house in Nanoose Bay. A male voice is heard to say, “I guess I’ll make a snack when you haven’t ‘just mopped the kitchen floor‘.”
Narrator (Morgan Freeman) – “He knew that would be next month, sometime between midnight and 5 am, a time of day when every household activity was strictly prohibited. He could either go hungry or break the rules.
For a silly second, he considered going to a restaurant. But he knew he’d be wasting ‘THEIR’ money on ‘terrible, salty, preservative laden food in a germ ridden environment’. This was her awesome power – she could make him the wrongest anyone has ever been. His dying of starvation was not her goal, but if he had the courtesy to kick the bucket in a tidy manner, she could be at peace with it.”
Scene 2 – Video call from Grand-kids. He unwisely says, “I’m not sure Nana is in the mood to chat.”
Narrator (Still Morgan Freeman) – “Unbeknownst to him she is armed with an old soup ladle that she uses to crack him on the noggin — her snakelike arm snatches the phone away. She pushes him over and stands on his neck while cooing at the kiddies proudly showing their doodles from afternoon playtime.”
Scene 3 – The floor – Narrator (Unbelievably, Morgan Freeman still here) – “He’s in the fetal position on the dog blanket. The dog, insulted to be displaced, makes a terrible fuss so he must relocate. But he must pass in front of her, and she might have traded her ladle for shish-kebab skewers or, heaven forbid, BBQ tongs. Instead he slithers out the window and panther crawls into the dusk”.
Ending Montage – Music: “Love Will Keep Us Together”
Narrator (Still Freeman. He must need the cash) – “It’s after midnight now. He is freezing and has stumbled all the way back from his friend’s house, the one with the wine cellar. All the lights are off. He has no key. He steadies himself with a few deep breaths, summons all the bravado he can muster — and knocks on the door”.
Fade to black — Cue outro theme music.
Tune in next time for another episode of:
‘The Nanoosians’!!
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