Here are a few stories that are happening locally and around the world:
Wine Party of 60-Something Women Mistaken for Chicken Slaughter by Concerned Neighbours — What IS that shrieking noise?
Vladimir Putin Treated for Multiple Canaries Lodged in Throat
Celebrity Boasts ‘I’m a Survivor’ As If Every Other Living Person on Earth Isn’t — Her tension headache was also ‘rare & unique’.
Shocked Cowboy “Totally Didn’t See” Homoerotic Undertones in Bull Riding
Bruce Springsteen Opens Restaurant – Waiters Just Keep Serving & Serving & Serving…
Local Woman Requires Corrective Surgery After Rolling Eyes at Husband for the One-Millionth Time
Non-Athletic Slob Still Calls it a ‘Playoff Beard’ — Wife says its definitely NOT ‘the best a man can get’.
Laryngitic Wife Unable to Finish Husband’s Sentences
Nanoose Bay Deer Celebrate 100th Vehicle Wrecked — ‘Best year yet’ says spokesruminant
Classic Rock Singer, 72, Says ‘If It’s Too Loud, You’re Too Old’ – Then Shits Pants
Town Shocked to Learn Local Millionaire is a Poor Tipper — Normally they’re lavish with gratuities
Trump Accuses Kittens of ‘Fake Mews’
Airline Forbidden to Install ‘Pay Toilets’ – Places Cerberus at Lavatory Doors Instead
Terrible Speller Loves the Smell of Her Boyfriend’s ‘Colon’
Demon Enters Priest Via Urethra During ‘Exorcism’ of Boy