This Week’s Headline Roundup

Here are a few stories that are happening locally and around the world:

 

Wine Party of 60-Something Women Mistaken for Chicken Slaughter by Concerned NeighboursWhat IS that shrieking noise?

Vladimir Putin Treated for Multiple Canaries Lodged in Throat

Celebrity Boasts ‘I’m a Survivor’ As If Every Other Living Person on Earth Isn’tHer tension headache was also ‘rare & unique’.

Shocked Cowboy “Totally Didn’t See” Homoerotic Undertones in Bull Riding

Bruce Springsteen Opens RestaurantWaiters Just Keep Serving & Serving & Serving…

Local Woman Requires Corrective Surgery After Rolling Eyes at Husband for the One-Millionth Time

Non-Athletic Slob Still Calls it a ‘Playoff Beard’Wife says its definitely NOT ‘the best a man can get’. 

Laryngitic Wife Unable to Finish Husband’s Sentences

Nanoose Bay Deer Celebrate 100th Vehicle Wrecked — ‘Best year yet’ says spokesruminant

Classic Rock Singer, 72, Says ‘If It’s Too Loud, You’re Too Old’ – Then Shits Pants

Town Shocked to Learn Local Millionaire is a Poor TipperNormally they’re lavish with gratuities

Trump Accuses Kittens of ‘Fake Mews’

Airline Forbidden to Install ‘Pay Toilets’Places Cerberus at Lavatory Doors Instead

Terrible Speller Loves the Smell of Her Boyfriend’s ‘Colon’

And finally:

Demon Enters Priest Via Urethra During ‘Exorcism’ of Boy

 

 

Cerberus

 

  Vince R Ditrich © 2019 :: All Rights Reserved :: Random Note Generator :: A One-Man Magazine :: www.randomnotegenerator.com
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