Can’t Spin a Dead Cat Without Hitting a Genius

RNG — Nanoose — All but one of the headlines below is absolutely real. Try and guess which one is made up.

:: Couple Die of Bubonic Plague After Eating Raw Kidney of Marmot

:: Does Chewing Gum Help You Lose Weight?

:: Did Royals Name Baby ‘Archie’ in Preparation For Next Child ‘Jughead’?

:: I’m 63. She’s 22. Here’s What Most People Get Wrong About Our Marriage

:: Naked Florida Man Breaks into Concession Stand to Steal Hotdogs

:: Brit Opens New Pub With NO BOOZE Called ‘Virgin Mary’

:: Man Dies of Heart Attack While Undergoing Hair Transplant

:: Cuba Cancels Annual Conga Against Homophobia Parade

:: Meatloaf Falls Off Stage, Breaks Collarbone

:: Man Shoots Woman in Face Over Dog Poop

:: Woman Dies After Falling Into Meat Grinder

:: Pizza Joint Shut Down After Staff Put Laxatives on Pies

:: El Chapo and Wife to Launch Fashion Line

:: Woman Pulls Alligator Out of Pants During Traffic Stop.

:: Thong Wearing Florida Man Found in Someone Else’s Backyard, Building a Shed and Throwing Chairs.

Which one is fictional? Can you spot it, and if you did, does it really matter anymore

I think we’ve hit the tipping point. Time to build a doomsday shelter out of deep-fried, bacon-wrapped ice cream! Learn how to convert your own pee into drinking water like an astronaut, even though astronauts are a hoax because the world is flat! Science is nothing but a collection of leftist propaganda! Physics only counts if it can help fix the Trans Am! Alternate facts are just as good as actual facts, better in fact. Aha! See what I just did there? Damn, I’m a genius, similar to other geniuses of our age like Kim Kardashian.

Eat a Bug
Hell, why not eat bugs, too?

 

Vince R Ditrich © 2019 :: All Rights Reserved :: Random Note Generator :: A One-Man Magazine :: http://www.randomnotegenerator.com

 

 

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