Yet Another Local Singer at Charity Event Unwisely Attempts ‘At Last’

All in attendance, except singer’s Mother, wince in horror

:: The agonizing glide up to correct notes never quite succeeds. End result flatter than piss on a plate

:: Ghost of Etta James blows chunks

:: Bassist wets pants on purpose

:: Pianist quickly dons boxing gloves

:: House drummer starts petition to have performance of that song made illegal by all but a handful of vocalists. Also ‘Hallelujah‘ and ‘Man, I Feel Like a Woman Dressed as a Man and Treated Like a Woman in a Men’s Room‘.

:: It was also suggested that any attempt at ‘I Will Always Love You‘ should be punishable by instant death, via defenestration or crucifixion. Attempts to modulate at last chorus should result in similar fate to singer’s all too encouraging mother.

Croaky Drunk


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