Local Woman Bored with Franchise Stores – Wants to go to Vegas Instead

Qualicum Beach – RNG — A local woman recently gave up hope that she’d ever find true shopping satisfaction from strolling Vancouver’s Robson Street designer boutiques and decided instead to make a consumer pilgrimage to Las Vegas, where she could buy all the same things at a much higher price.

“Oh sure you think there’s no difference to the goods,” she said. “But everyone knows a handbag bought at Winners for $69 is a piece of junk when compared to the identical bag costing $3700 at a storefront in Vegas. Literally everyone knows that.”

The interview was cut short as she suffered ‘slide-out’ by a Goop jade vaginal egg, which clattered to the floor and rolled under a couch. She commanded the interviewing journalist to crawl around on hands and knees to find it.

The interviewer, however, was not willing to look for the artifact, so she pivoted the conversation to say, “No matter. I will get another at the Jade Vaginal Egg Boutique in Bellagio, at a much, much higher price. And I will have it custom fitted by a someone in the costume of a eunuch, to boot!!”

Vag Egg 2

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