No Room For Spiritual Totems in Downsized Home

RNG – In a house brimming with tchotchkes, carvings, overpriced masks, random seashells painted with animal symbols — as well as seven packets of Tarot cards, a Vancouver woman revealed that her expensive attempts at connection with her metaphysical centre simply had to be thrown out.

“I wanted to display my ‘spirituality'”, she said flashing air quotes. “I’m not even sure what that is but this seemed such an easy way to make it look like I do. Mrs. Pickett, vice chair of the Ladies Auxiliary, was talking about spirituality at a Wine & Cheese and she made it sound so fashionable! She says she has her maid beseech the gods for more free money and it simply comes pouring in!!! Plus, all this rubbish was a huge home decor fad at the time. And I love turtles. Apparently the turtle symbol represents something. But really, I just like turtles…They’re soooooo cute! Having a theme like that really gives me a trademark.

Her new home, a cozy but elegant 2 bedroom rancher close to a golf course, has insufficient room for all her decorations so she is going to send her paraphernalia of spirituality to the city dump. Suggestions to donate to the Sally Ann were met with a look of distaste. “Ugh”, she sniffed.

One particular item, a handmade Hopi blanket, an artifact brought back from a winter season in Arizona, is to be saved. “Put that in the boot of the Mercedes, please…It cost me far too much to throw out!” A miniature birch bark canoe, however, is to be sacrificed. “Canoes are so yesterday…Bill & I are looking at a 35 foot Bertram, but I utterly insist on one with a fireplace and I’m impossible if I don’t get my way!”

Dream Catcher

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